This little thought nugget about adulthood may seem straight forward to some of you, but it's something that I still struggle with more often than it does me any good. The struggle comes from the fact that there are two parts making up this thought.
The first part basically means: Take care of yourself and be responsible for whatever you do. I think this is one of the main characteristics that differentiates "adults" from those who aren't. Since moving back home, sometimes I find it hard to execute the skills I learned while trying to live more independently, away from home. Even with something as simple as laundry! I did my own when I lived on my own, but somehow once I moved back home, that routine just slipped by the wayside and I was back to being a kid again. Now now, before you start to judge me, I'm taking steps to rectify this. I thought I was an adult for having travelled alone to Hong Kong, having lived on my own in a foreign country. But if I'm unable to be self-sufficient when I'm back at home, how am I an adult? Sure I may be able to take care of myself when I "have to", but if I don't take care of myself when I don't need to, how have I matured? "Taking care of yourself" is an ongoing adult responsibility. Admittedly, my inability to be consistent about what I do for myself, and how self-sufficient I am makes me less of an adult in the area of "taking care of myself". >_<
The second part means: Do things for yourself first before others. It may sound selfish, but let me explain.
Those who also share the role as being the oldest child may agree that we have been brought up to not only take care of ourselves, but our sibling(s) as well. Even as I've grown older and my siblings have become more independent, a part of me never fully lets this childhood responsibility go. It may sound caring, protective or even selfless or gracious to some, but I've learned how taking on more responsibility than one is capable of doesn't make you more responsible. On the contrary, you could be less helpful than you imagined yourself to be.
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| Living back home: Am I moving towards being an Adult or back to being a Kid? |
The second part means: Do things for yourself first before others. It may sound selfish, but let me explain.
Those who also share the role as being the oldest child may agree that we have been brought up to not only take care of ourselves, but our sibling(s) as well. Even as I've grown older and my siblings have become more independent, a part of me never fully lets this childhood responsibility go. It may sound caring, protective or even selfless or gracious to some, but I've learned how taking on more responsibility than one is capable of doesn't make you more responsible. On the contrary, you could be less helpful than you imagined yourself to be.
In my first aid and CPR course, one of the first things they teach you is to keep yourself safe. In a situation where you're with a victim but you feel either endangered or unable to help, you should leave and go find help. Rather than stick around try to do something that could actually make things worse (since you really don't know what you're doing), it's smarter (and more helpful) to go find someone else who is able to help. As a person who has chosen a career in a helping profession, this lesson took a second or two to understand because in those situations, my usual instinct is to see how I can help. I want to help! But it's just like they say in those in-flight safety videos they make you watch during lift off: Be sure to adjust your own oxygen mask before helping others.
It's funny to think that an in-flight safety instruction can be applied outside of air travel, but the same line of thinking can be said about all areas of life! In safety protocols, everyday actions, love and self-discovery! It may sound selfish at first glance, but really, what makes you qualified to do anything for anyone else if you can't do it for yourself? Would you give career advice to someone when you don't even know what you're doing with your own life? Now I do not claim to know what makes an Adult, and my writing about being "Almost an Adult" is definitely not a "How to" series. Nor am I claiming that there are no merits to learning to do things alongside others. But what I'm talking about can be broken down to be almost common sense. What makes you think you're able to take on the responsibility for others when you aren't able to be fully responsible for yourself yet? You want to be helpful to others? Understand/learn how to do it/find out the answer for yourself first!
As I've matured, my attitude towards helping out my siblings has followed this thought process. I won't claim to know anything 100% just because I'm older than them, but will try my best to listen to them more. Only when I've genuinely experienced something that is applicable to their situation, will I offer up my 2 cents. That's when I have to work on not sounding so condescending. But that's a topic for another post. Haha!
Beyond basic self clean up duties, we need to trust/love/find happiness for/know how to help ourselves before we do the same for others. I think moving towards adulthood is all about finding out how to do those things. And man is it hard, especially since there are no manuals! Since we've all got to start somewhere, looks like I'm starting with something that should be quite simple: laundry. XP
It's funny to think that an in-flight safety instruction can be applied outside of air travel, but the same line of thinking can be said about all areas of life! In safety protocols, everyday actions, love and self-discovery! It may sound selfish at first glance, but really, what makes you qualified to do anything for anyone else if you can't do it for yourself? Would you give career advice to someone when you don't even know what you're doing with your own life? Now I do not claim to know what makes an Adult, and my writing about being "Almost an Adult" is definitely not a "How to" series. Nor am I claiming that there are no merits to learning to do things alongside others. But what I'm talking about can be broken down to be almost common sense. What makes you think you're able to take on the responsibility for others when you aren't able to be fully responsible for yourself yet? You want to be helpful to others? Understand/learn how to do it/find out the answer for yourself first!
As I've matured, my attitude towards helping out my siblings has followed this thought process. I won't claim to know anything 100% just because I'm older than them, but will try my best to listen to them more. Only when I've genuinely experienced something that is applicable to their situation, will I offer up my 2 cents. That's when I have to work on not sounding so condescending. But that's a topic for another post. Haha!
Beyond basic self clean up duties, we need to trust/love/find happiness for/know how to help ourselves before we do the same for others. I think moving towards adulthood is all about finding out how to do those things. And man is it hard, especially since there are no manuals! Since we've all got to start somewhere, looks like I'm starting with something that should be quite simple: laundry. XP
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