16 Runs with 16 People: April Update (Part 5 of 6)

Run with Friend #13: The Beaches

Date: April 16, 2016, my first time running with a dog escort!

Temperature: 5C

Distance: 8K

Last Tuesday evening, as I was heading over to the Eaton's Centre for Nike Run Club's speed run, I thought I saw a tall, dark, handsome stranger pass me by. But what's great was that although this man was indeed tall, dark (from soaking up the weekend rays on the run) and handsome (mmhm!), he wasn't a stranger at all! In fact, Dave Emilio and I have not been strangers since we ran together just over 2 months ago. (Sorry for taking this long to write about our run Dave!)

The only thing missing from this post-run selfie is Dave's dog, Prefontaine!

I had reached out to Dave back in late March, because he had written an enthusiastic comment on a post that Jean-Paul Bedard had shared about us running together. I was so excited that another person would be interested in this idea of running with strangers! We finally met a few weeks later, on the morning where I had planned 2 back-to-back runs (with the previous one being with Melly). We planned to run along the Beaches of downtown Toronto where I had never ran before. It was sunny with a light breeze, and Dave brought along his dog, Prefontaine. I've never run with a dog before! What more could a girl ask for?! Dave suggested that we run along his "Peanut route" that will give me the 8K that I wanted that day. I appreciated how flat our route was, since I had my fill of hills from earlier that morning. We headed off on our run around 9:30am and I could tell that the Beaches was starting to wake up, as we encountered other fellow runners and walkers.

As someone who started out running and training solely on her own, I'm still getting used to the dynamics of running with groups and others in general. Dave also enjoys running on his own. In fact, he loves to run so much that he calls it his addiction. From the sounds of his running experiences and the different hats he wears in the local running community, he’s been able to turn this addiction into a purposeful passion. He's the original Beaches Runner, president of the Toronto Beaches Runners Club, and a coach at Adaptive Running Academy. Dave runs with a lot of people already. Why did he want to run with me? That exact question didn't come up, but I think he and I both crave the same thing as runners. Making connections with others who share our passion and being a part of a community. 

Even though this project of mine involves a numeric goal, it's not driven by how many runners I meet. If that was the case, I'd be stopping every runner I see! Imagine that! Me, stopping mid-run to run alongside another runner, introducing myself and asking if I can continue to run and chat with them. Not creepy at all, right? But no, I've decided to do one-on-one meet ups, and write about them afterwards. (I'll admit that the writing part has been very slow though. Running is much easier!) I want to know others' running stories, how running came into their lives and how we're connected. This project is my way of meeting runners, getting to know runners whom I'm likely already connected with, and getting to know what being a part of the running community is all about. My definition of community isn't based on geographical location, age, ethnicity, social economic status or running experience. It's about making meaningful connections! Dave reached out to me and I reached back! Sometimes making a connection can be that simple.

Someone walking their dog along a quiet section of the Beaches boardwalk. Taken post run.

Dave definitely knows a lot more about running than me but he didn't make me feel intimidated by this. Learning about how he gives back to the running community through the BRC and as a coach made me think about how I can do my part in giving back to the sport as well. In fact, I later saw Dave share a friend’s request for volunteers at a water station at the Goodlife Toronto Marathon and I ended up volunteering for a race for the first time! I definitely think that every runner should volunteer for a race sometime, even if only to experience what it’s like to be on the other side of the paper cups.

Of course, the topic of our next races came up. At the time of our run, Dave was training for the Goodlife Toronto Marathon and I was going to run the Ottawa Half Marathon. I confessed that I had yet to run the full marathon distance and I still can't imagine myself running for that long any time soon. I love the half marathon distance but part of me thinks that I may be "too comfortable" with this distance and need to push myself to go further. To my surprise, Dave told me to take my time. Better to run it when I feel mentally and physically ready for it, because the marathon will always be there. The marathon will wait for me. I like the sound of that!

Such a calm blue sky. The Beaches are beautiful. I envy where you live Dave!

Sure, the marathon will wait for me. But you know what won't wait for you? Registration for the Beaches Jazz Run! This year the Beaches Runners Club are the race directors behind the Beaches Jazz Run (which offers time chipped 5K, 10K and half marathon) happening on Sunday July 24th! Sign up for this fun summer race now! Dave will be there!! 

16 Runs with 16 People: April Update (Part 4 of 6)

Run with Friend #12: Sunnybrook Park

Date: April 16, 2016, my first time running in Sunnybrook Park!

Temperature: 1-3C

Distance: 10.1K

Since most of my runs have now been with runners I haven't run with before, I often get asked about how my running goal came to be. Why did I set this type of running goal for myself? Why the number "16"? Why am I running with people outside of my local area? The answers to those are rather simple: Because I love to run and found that people I've met, rather than finishing times, have been my greatest motivators. The number 16 is pretty much random, but mathematically I thought I'd be able to get at least one running meet up a month, plus a few more in the summer months. And I don't want physical distance to be an huge obstacle for me when making connections with people, especially if they've reached out to me. Sure I won't fly across the country just to run with someone, but I'd drive to your area to meet up on a weekend morning, if it's not too far!

We planned to run 8K, but ended up running more. More running? Yes!!

And that was the original plan for our run, for me to meet Melly in her neighbourhood just outside of Toronto. Eventually this changed to meeting closer to the downtown area, since Melly knew that I wanted to fit 2 runs in that morning, with the next one being down at the Beaches with Mr. Dave Emilio. Thanks for being so flexible Melly! What's funny is that we had planned to run the Beltline Trail together, but we couldn't find a way in or maybe we just ran past the entrance, so we headed towards Sunnybrook Park instead. I had only heard about Sunnybrook Park but never run there before, so I was just as happy with this change of plans!

During our run together, Melly asked me a question that I hadn't been asked during a run yet: What's your fear? What a question! She almost had me stumped! Since we had been talking about why I started running with people I didn't know, I knew the answer. 

I have been afraid of Rejection. I see Rejection, as a kind of failure. And encountering failure is a sucky feeling. (Yes, sucky.) Failure is like quicksand. A state of mind where once you dip your toe in, once you even think "Boo. I failed.", you get stuck. Asking yourself questions like "How could I have failed?" or "Why am I such a failure?" only pulls you in quicker because you've already pinned yourself down as "failed".

Over the past year of job hunting, I have been rejected many times. You'd think that I would feel pretty indifferent about rejection by now. But I've only slowly started to genuinely accept it as part of the process. As a goal-oriented person, it's been about changing the expectations that I set for myself, and being willing to adapt my mindset so that I can still find satisfaction (staying away from the word Success here since it's often seen as the opposite of Failure) in the process of pursuing my goals. 

Telling myself to take more risks and think in a more experimental approach ("Let's try it and see if this works!" vs. "Let's get it done this way.") has been helpful for me and I keep it's this thinking that has propelled my "16 runs" project. Simply put, I'm learning to take myself less seriously! I figure that as I become asking people (whom I don't really know at all!) to run together, the easier it'll become. And if someone says no, I'll just shrug it off and move on, because it's not personal. It's just a 2 letter word and there are more people to run with! We tend to think that the worst will happen when the answer that we get is not what we imagined. If we're able to let go of imaging what will happen, that can free up space in our mind to accept alternatives. And usually good things happen. What's really funny (and amazing) is that nobody I've asked to run together has outright said No yet! 

Back to my run with Melly. After a question like that, I knew that Melly was a hard hitter. Our talk was no longer "small talk", we talked "big talk". Our 8K turned into a hilly 10K but that's how it is isn't it? When the conversation gets going and you just keep running, talk can get deep pretty fast and a longer run doesn't feel long at all. I felt totally comfortable chatting with Melly. Since our first run together, we've been in touch through our various race experiences and I've learned that she is a sassy woman who can look out for herself and one tough cookie. A cookie whose ribs keep popping out! But I'll let her tell you about that herself...

And you know what Melly and I definitely aren't afraid of? Hills!

What's your fear?

********** **********

The second part of  my Saturday morning runs coming up soon! 

16 Runs with 16 Friends: April Update (Part 3 of 6)

Run with Friend #11: Running around my old high school neighbourhood

Date: April 9 2016, first time running with my high school science teacher! 

Temperature: -14C

Distance: 8.4K

When I was in high school, I was a science nerd, book worm and bank geek. I am now done school and I still love science, books, and play music (albeit not in a band, although I wish I still did). Some things never change. But luckily some things do. I was once chosen last during a gym class and distinctly remember the super sucky feeling settling in my gut that no A+ on a science test could remove. High school Gillian would never would've imagined that future Gillian would ever start running, never mind enjoy it enough to have run her 4th half marathon recently (Ottawa race update coming soon-ish... sometime this summer!). 

But in grade 11/12, something came over me and I signed up for my high school's track and field team to do the triple jump. The only "sports experience" I had was doing track and field in elementary school, where I somehow managed to get a third place ribbon for the triple jump for my grade. I must've thought that remembering how to do the triple jump was the same as being good at the triple jump.

The team's coach was my science teacher who had taught me science 3 years in a row and he was pleasantly surprised to see me signed up since I was never involved on any school sports teams before. He was always encouraging at practices, even though most of the time I was thinking: "What am I even Doing here?!" I don't remember much from my track and field team experience except that A) My jumps could never make it into the box. B) I still couldn't make it into the box during a preliminary track meet. C) Running during practices was not fun. I never understood why as a "jumper" I needed to practice running? D) I hurt my ankle (probably during one of those "not-fun" runs!) and didn't end up going to our final track meet (*phew*!).

In short, my debut onto the high school track and field team was embarrassing. And I just accepted that sports would never enter my life again.

Until it did! And I'm so glad because this meet up wouldn't have happened if running hadn't entered my life.

Happy smiles to match the pretty blue skies.

Mr. Roberts (my high school teacher mentioned above) and I reconnected last fall when I emailed him out of the blue. I had been meaning to contact him since I had started to run regularly 3 years ago, and finally made time to write out an email. Unfortunately, we hadn't kept in touch after my graduation. So naturally, I googled his name and my high school, hoping to look up his contact info. I found it, he soon responded saying he remembered me too!

I hadn't seen Mr. Roberts in about 7.5 years, but he didn't look a day older than when I last saw him at graduation. Same bright blue eyes, same big smile, and still loves teaching science and coaching track and field. It's true, some things don't change. He still keeps active by running, although cycling was his new found love. After our catch up session, we made a deal to meet up for a run (before I had even set this goal!) when the weather became warmer.

Spring came around, and Mother Nature was still giving us below 0 weather, but that didn't stop us! We set a date, and we were both pumped to run together! We caught up on our lives since our reunion a few months back, connected over our adventures in staying active and definitely shared lots of laughs... I don't remember over what exactly, I just remember the laughter!

I'm so grateful that Mr. Roberts and I were able to get in touch and meet up after all those years to run and laugh together as two adults! And yes, I still call him Mr. Roberts both because of habit and because I still see him as my high school science teacher. What can I say, some things don't change. But I know that us reconnecting has sparked change in that relationship. There is now the potential for future running meet ups, more laughs shared over tea and maybe even a bike ride together as adult friends? Sometimes change is good. 

********** **********

Update on "16 Runs with 16 Friends": I've already run with over 16 people!! I can't believe that I managed to reach this goal by early May!! My new goal is now to run with at least 32 people (double my initial goal) one on one, by the end of this year.

I also know that it is now June and I am very behind on updating my running meet ups from April and May. Bear with me! I'll try my best to write about all of April and May before June comes to an end!