Feelings from a year of "Personal Worsts"

I see the giant red numbers on the clock by the finish line. 02:14:4x My heart sinks and I know I haven't made it. Sub 2 hour is out the window. But no time to start the negative self-talk now (that'll come later), I have to dig deep and finish strong!

I lengthen my stride little by little to get myself into my usual finish line sprint and take a deep breath. Nothing. No air. I exhale quickly and try again. But again there's no air and I choke a bit, panicking. What is happening? What's up lungs?! My legs keep going and my arms keep pumping. I gasp and finally get a bit of much needed air. Ok. Small breaths work, keep doing small breaths.

02:14:54! Push! You can do this! You can cross under 02:15:00!!

1 Thing I Learned from My International Placement Experience

My placement has long been over but I've been away for much of the summer so I have yet to wrap up my international placement experience. While I've been away, I've been reminded of how writing is an outlet for expressing my thoughts and feelings, but motivation can be so hard to find. Now that I'm settling back into being at home, I've got no real excuses about why I'm not writing. This piece is so long over due and probably one of the hardest (and longest!) posts I've written so far because it's taken a lot of self-reflection and hard thinking. It's kind of a mix between what I wanted to write in a "Who Am I Out of Context? Part 2" post and as a summary reflection. I hope that you can understand the thoughts that I'm about to share with you. 

I consider my international placement experience a valuable mix between education/work and self-discovery. I initially started by naming this post "5 Things I Learned..." because I thought that it would be nice to be able to get a list of things down that I've learned in those 2 months. (Also because I love lists!) Between travelling alone, living in a new country and working/having an educational experience in a culturally different setting --5 things should be easy, right? I had some ideas for sure (which I've incorporated into this post), but I just couldn't get it down to 5 distinct things.

Who is Your Family? And Who Are You?

I met a local OT student who was volunteering at the Duchess of Kent Children's Hospital during my placement time there. We got to know each other throughout the span of the 2 weeks before I left and making this friend has been such a blessing. I truly feel blessed to have met her during the struggles I had with my placement experience there. Having studied abroad for several years, she understood how it felt to be away from home and trying to learn and adapt to a new cultural setting. She's been such a great listener and of course, it's great to be able to talk about our hopes and dreams as soon-to-be new grad OTs.

Since I left the placement and she has started her own placement term, it's been hard to find time to meet up so I have been joining her at her fellowship group. Since I've been to my friends' Catholic and Christian fellowships, I don't feel too strange joining in on my new friend's group. It's a nice way to spend my evenings after placement, and I've come to think that if religion is such a big part of my friends' lives, getting to know a little bit about what that entails is a way of getting to know my friends better.

The other night, the discussion consisted of a two part question: Who is your family? And who are you?

Stop being the Therapy Student, and think like a Student Therapist

Wisdom from my preceptor during my midterm evaluation! (This blog post is about 3 weeks late...)

My preceptor has a way with words and this phrase is just so fitting to where I am in my professional career. The reality of being in my second last fieldwork placement and with only one school term left could not have been put in more concise terms!  But until my preceptor spoke those words, I was still very much thinking of myself as "just" a student studying occupational therapy.

Do I call myself a "Runner"?

Until recently, I've been hesitant to call myself a "runner". Just like I wouldn't call myself an "athlete", because I feel as though these labels require qualifications such as speed and strength. But since my first 10K, it's become apparent to me that maybe I am one of them, a "runner".

Revisiting a Question to Myself

It's been a Long while since I last posted on this blog.
My lack of blogging doesn't mean I have stopped actively reflecting (during fieldwork placement, in life and about myself) to improve my OT lens. I've found that I've actually written a few unfinished posts throughout my placement and I just never got around to finishing my thoughts and posting them. I hope that I will find the time to do that later this weekend.

For now, I'd like to revisit the question that I had asked myself when I initially started this blog and add on other new ideas I have for the purposes of this virtual outlet of mine:
Why a Blog?

A place to think... That's what this blog should be for me.